I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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