I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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