do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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