I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
