what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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