Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize