some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
