we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
