her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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