this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
