Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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