I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
