so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We had sex on a dog bed..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
