What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
