One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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