laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
