Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Randomize
