The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize