Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
