He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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