Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
