im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
