if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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