hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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