Yo dont text me then not text me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
