Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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