I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Say something about gay babies.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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