if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
