Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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