haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
