Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
