just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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