i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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