my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
