A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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