I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
