she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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