This girl is more easily done than said...
someone owes me an orgasm
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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