he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
