im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Help. Why am I so naked?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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