What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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