I hope mine doesn't look like that
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
