Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
