new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
