idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
