Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize