frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
