i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
that is very illegal...i love you.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
