Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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