The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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