Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
bring money and cleavage
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize