I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We are all done wearing pants today
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
