I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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