There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
