OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
