That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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