let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
