Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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