we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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