Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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