when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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