I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
