Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
