don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
