The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
