the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
