No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
