I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
