??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
