All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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