i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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